The diary of my brother Petr Ginz Sixty years after my brother wrote his diary, it suddenly reappeared, under seemigly mysterious circumstances. Two years ago, it was published in its original Czech version with my introduction and artistic works by my brother. In the short period since this publication, the book was translated into many languages and became known in many contries.
In
light of this development, I was invited to present the book and its background
at various book launchings and to discuss its contents with many people in
private conversations, in numerous interviews with media journalists, and so
on. This activity carried on intensely
in the
All these events evoked many feelings and
questions in me and a need to think things over. Surely, I am not the first one
who, having finished writing or editing a book, began posing himself questions.
Even Thomas Mann, after finishing his monumental opus Doctor Faustus,
wrote a "book about the book".
I
discovered that what interests most people is how the miracle happened, how Petr's
diary reappeared after sixty long years? The story of the reappearance is described in detail
in the book itself, but because of its importance, and because not everybody may
have had occasion to read the book, I
would like to briefly summarize the events.
Before
his departure on the ill-fated
From
among several hundred drawings that are deposited in the museum's archives, Yad
Vashem chose the one that was drawn by my brother, Petr Ginz, entitled View
of the Earth from the Moon. Upon receiving the drawing, Ilan said that in
going up into space, he felt that he was going to realize the dream of this boy
who was murdered at the young age of sixteen in a concentration camp and who consequently did not live long enough to experience
his own fantasy.
The
subsequent explosion of the
All
this attention to my brother triggered the memory of an unknown Czech citizen concerning
some notebooks he had found in an old
house he had bought. These notebooks were written by the same Petr Ginz. He
offered his find to Yad Vashem and with their help, I succeeded in
acquiring them.
My
encounter with Petr's diary and other notes he wrote in these books was very
emotional. It preoccupied me for a long
time. I sat thinking for many hours in our quiet home, the home in which my
husband and I raised our two children and in which we today spend most of our
time. In front of me lay notebooks, suddenly now at home with me too. From time
to time I turned their pages, leafing through them. At other times, I only stared at them when a
jumble of thoughts passed through my head.
Reflecting
upon the diaries also influenced my work as a visual artist. Inspired by these
new developments in my life, I created a serial of works on the theme of "My
brother’s diary". Even before this
activity, my work took on the subject of the string of terrorist attacks
against
After
this initial response came a period in which, for the first time in my life, I
devoted myself to a literary activity.
It was at this time that I decided to publish My Brother’s Diary. The timing explains why I consider the
publication of Petr’s diary to be so important and why I added additional pages
from his later writings, and my own thoughts.
Sometimes
as I was caught in the throes of depression, I would ask myself how it was
possible that after the unspeakably tragic and painful period we lived through
in the Shoah, we were able to continue on with our lives, we were able to live
a normal life. Sixty years since later, I am still very much aware of what actually
happened back then. It was not only murder and criminal robbery of property. It was also the dreadful degradation and the
insults. My talented brother, my old grandmother, and uncles and aunts, all of
who taught us about justice and about the beauty of life, were forced into crowded
cattle wagons and transported to their ignominious deaths. The agonized trip
sometimes took several days. They were even forced to tend to their physical
needs in the wagons, like animals. They became nothing – insignificant.
My
Brother’s Diary describes how a Jewish boy
lived in
To me, Shoah
is about the way that leads to death, with its different stops and stations.
The last stop was death. For the Czech Jews, the first station was
In this
regard, it seems to me that the diaries of Petr contribute testimony of
considerable value. The reason that the German diaries of Otto Klemperer have
been held in high esteem is because they too describe what I call "the
first station to death," only in his case it is the first station of the
German Jewish community, which began as early as 1933.
In the Theresienstadt
concentration camp, the prevailing atmosphere was one of fear, slavery,
desperation, hunger, death, concern about one's own family, and the dreaded
summons for transports to the East. Despite this atmosphere, there were quite a
number of people who felt that even in that hellhole, they must remain human,
they must fulfill certain inner demands. Often they felt like remnants of other
world views. The hunger they felt, aside from physical, was also spiritual and
cultural. These activists were often famous artists, scientists, gifted
individuals, whose will to create music, paint, organize secret lectures or
write articles and poetry, never left them until the very last breath was gone
from their body.
Petr,
though only fourteen years old, belonged to these activists. This characteristic was felt most by those in
his close surroundings at the boys housing. He was the editor of the secret
magazine Vedem (we lead), which was edited at a very high level. Every
week Petr arranged for a new edition of
this journal, which was then recited in the boys room on Friday evenings - with
one of the boys standing outside to safeguard the meeting.
During
this period, Petr also learned everything he could. He wrote articles, essays, drew and painted (Yad
Vashem holds about 130 of his drawings). In the part of his diary written
in Theresienstadt, Petr describes what he packed in his luggage back in
Prague so as to take with him Theresienstadt: "I took a stock of
paper (including this notebook), linoleum, small knives for lino-cutting, and an as yet unfinished novel entitled The
Sage from Altai, that at that time already comprised 260 pages. I wanted to
finish it in Theresienstadt… tenderly I packed it with other items, and perhaps
I shall be blamed that I feared for these items more than for all the other
things"…
It
seems that the novel The Sage from Altai accompanied Petr through all
the stations on his passage to death. The creator and his creation always remain
very close. These two living books, which were so special to each other and so close
to one another, were never written to the end. They remained unfinished and
unread. It is so sad that we will never
be able to look into these unfinished books, which are lost forever.
Publishing
My Brother’s Diary gives me a certain kind of satisfaction. It contains
a brief indication and perhaps testimony about the meaning of Petr's life. Here
is his testimony about this horrible, wrenching period of time, written in his
own words.